Manana and Mexico

Jaime tells us constantly that, “Mexicans don’t care about the weather, time, and the green flash.” Gringos often struggle with this concept when moving south of the border. Getting beyond weather doesn’t create much stress…..it’s always warm and sunny. Adjustment difficulty rates a .3 on a 10 scale. It takes mucho sunsets to be convinced that the green flash isn’t an illusion. Google it. It’s real, but stressing over it? Get real. The only conversations about the green flash occur during happy hour while watching a sunset over the ocean. You have a buzz going, you are on vacation, and the night has just begun. Adjustment difficulty rates a .1 on a 10 scale. Anyone who argues about this should be kicked in the shins. “Mexican time” on the other hand drives gringos crazy.
No more nebulous word in the lexicon of the Americas creates more stress for gringos than manana. Literally, it is Spanish for tomorrow. If a Mexican says it will happen manana, the odds of that really happening are … well…greater than .1 on a 10 scale, but …. What’s the worst thing that can happen if it doesn’t happen manana? The sun will still shine. Pina Coladas will still taste great. The waves will still break. Girls will still wear bikinis. No problema.
So last month Sharon and I recommended a small company to install curtains for a couple who had just purchased a condo in our complex. They were thrilled when the bid was $5,000 less expensive than the quote they had previously chosen. Christopher, the owner of the shop, had treated us like royalty and installed our blinds well. Of course, we met him during Spring Break, and Christopher installed the blinds some time between April and December when we next visited Mazatlan. No problema.
Yesterday, the moving van showed up with over $100,000 worth of furniture from the States. Christopher had promised that the curtains would be completed five days ago. Each day when pressed for delivery and installation, he would say, “manana”. The couple actually dealt relatively well with this as they had numerous other issues to overcome. Nunez on the other hand took umbrage to his performance. We had recommended Christopher. Being late was OK. Not communicating was not. Nunez dropped by the shop. Probema.
When I asked Sharon about her conversation with Christopher, she just shrugged her shoulders and said that not communicating why he couldn’t deliver and install the curtains was not OK. If they hadn’t been delivered or he was behind on previously ordered materials, just say so. On the other hand don’t keep saying “manana” when “manana” wasn’t going to be tomorrow. This seems reasonable to a gringo, but the following was the message Christopher left for the couple awaiting their curtains:
“Hola Lesley? This is Christopher. I was to call you about the blinds. I do not know what is happening with the blinds. It was a sale and they are busy. Your angry friend (Sharon) was here. She said I was to call you. I was going to call you yesterday five days ago and now I am calling you. I am sorry I was going to call you yesterday five days ago but I am calling you. I will call you manana.”
Now I have seen Sharon AKA Nunez AKA White Oprah AKA angry friend. What Christopher doesn’t comprende is that he ain’t seen nothing yet. One night Sharon and I attended a dinner party. Jake slept over with a buddy; a friend across town babysat Lauren. I evidently said something at dinner that offended Sharon, angry woman. As we drove across town in our seven passenger van, she let me know just how much my remarks bothered her. Her relentless harangue rattled me, but I was driving so I didn’t have to look at angry woman until I came to my first red light. Now I had to not only hear her anger, but I also experienced the visual intensity of it. Out of the corner of my eye the light turned green, so I sped through the intersection. Unfortunately, I am so tall that I didn’t see the light of the street I had crossed. I saw the green light of the next street a block away. A litany of “YOU JUST RAN A GREEN LIGHT! YOU JUST RAN A GREEN LIGHT!” rang out as the blue and red flashing lights of the police car directly behind me rattled me some more. Since this street had no shoulder, I turned right at the next street only to hear a new litany, “YOU’RE DRIVING THE WRONG WAY ON A ONE WAY STREET! YOU’RE DRIVING THE WRONG WAY ON A ONE WAY STREET!” So I pulled into the first driveway and made room for the police car.
Sharon pulled the registration out as I grabbed my driver’s license from my wallet. The woman police officer smiled and chuckled, “I’ve never had someone run a red light right in front of me; let alone go the wrong way on a one way street in front of me.” She checked my criminal record for an interminable amount of time as angry woman had her way with me. Finally, the police officer walked back with our registration and my license. She smiled and said, “Mr. Reid, I am not going to give you a ticket tonight. There is nothing that I could do that is worse than what is happening to you right now.”
Jaime contends that this small business is owned by drug runners from Culican, the largest city in Sinaloa, and they use it for money laundering purposes. Jaime will have to coach her on her next conversation with Christopher. I wish Jaime well. Angry woman’s uncoachable.